Abhi to Aish Karenge!

OK, OK…I admit it. I was very, very curious about the Abhi-Aish wedding. Gimme a break! I’m human. I wanted to know who’s on the guest list, and more importantly, who’s not. I wanted to know what the happy (presumably) pair wore and how the bidaai went. It’s fun to know such details. And while I agree that no aspect of the wedding is the stuff of breaking news, I don’t understand why so many people are being so uppity about the media covering the Desi Wedding of the Year.

Think about it…it’s the meeting of the Titans, a marriage of all that’s powerful and beautiful in apna Bollywood. The scion of Bollywood’s first family weds one of India’s most well-known faces. It’s fascinating!

But even more interesting is all the drama that surrounded the whole affair. A drunk starlet claims to be married to Abhishek and slits her wrist. Amar Singh spews venom against Mukesh Ambani (‘I hate him!’). The police lathi-charges crazed fans. I tell you…this is pure K-stuff!

Abhi-Aish sure have started their wedding on a high note! The rest of their married life will probably pale in comparison to the high-voltage drama of their wedding. I hope Viveik Oberoi does a Devdas…just to keep the excitement going.

P.S. Sorry about the gosh-awful title. But I had to, don’t you know?


Sex Karna Mana Hai

We Indians make babies by magic. We don’t have s-e-x(please whisper this word if you’re reading it out loud). S-e-x, you see, is a Western concept. Those dirty Westerners kiss and canoodle in public. That is because they have no culture.

We in India have plenty of culture. Our ancestors were composing the Vedas when people in the West were still swinging from tree to tree. We have the Ganga and the Yamuna and we have Yoga and our many Gods and Goddesses. But no s-e-x. That is a Western import, brought to our holy land by those Godless Westerners.

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are not my own. You, discerning reader, might recognize them for what they are: the mindless and illogical arguments of our politicians and general rabble-rousers(not the first sentence; that’s my own :-D). I love my country, so I can’t help but despair over the fact that we’re saddled with a bunch of quarrelling and reactionary politicians who have the gall to call themselves ‘public servants’ when they serve nothing but their own interests. Phew! Long sentence, that.

Come on! What is wrong with teaching kids about sex and sexuality? Curiosity is part of being human and these kids will get curious about it at some stage. So might as well satiate that now, than leave them prey to all sorts of nonsensical information (You know what I’m talking about! Kissing can get a woman pregnant??) As Bachi Karkaria has already pointed out, a look at the sexpert columns will confirm that most Indians, children and adults, need sex education. Sometimes, when I read the mindnumbing queries, I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry.

And leave aside the need to know about the sexual act itself. There’s a very real need to educate children about sexual predators, the difference between a ‘good touch’ and ‘bad touch’. If we don’t arm them with this knowledge, we leave them vulnerable to exploitation. Nithari is not an aberration. Sexual abuse is common in our country and that’s a fact. Perverts cannot be eliminated from any society, but it’s the least we can do to educate our children and make them less vulnerable.

P.S. I do know that India is the land of the Kamasutra and erotic temple sculputre, blah, blah. I just didn’t mention all that before, because it seems so besides the point. But you’re welcome to talk about it, if you want.