Real Men Don’t Whine or Why We Should Still Listen to Feminists

I recently read a post on Great Bong’s blog about the unsuitability of Pratibha Patil for the post of President of India. The post was well written as usual, witty and informative and making it’s point with crystal clarity.

I have only one problem with this post. Evidently, Great Bong thinks that Mrinal Pande is insulting his intelligence when she writes that the main reason why men don’t want Pratibha Patil as Prez is that she’s a Woman and will give other women ideas. Possibly. But on the other hand, the article isn’t solely addressed to GB and other well read and well-informed men like him. It is also addressed to a lot of men who object to Pratibhatai precisely for the reason that Pande outlined – she’s a Woman and is a portent of the feminine invasion of Parliament. Now that just won’t do, will it?

One comment on the post caught my attention. A certain Shan wrote ‘People like Mrinal Pande (and there are plenty of those in leftist/feminist academia) see EVERYTHING through the lens of gender politics.’ That one statement should be credited with starting off this rant.

People like Mrinal Pande and Co. might see everything through the lens of gender politics, but there’s a very real reason for that – women are still largely victims, not because they relish their submissive positions, because they don’t know how not to be submissive. I agree there’s no reason for everything to be seen from a feminist point of view, but what is really unbearable is the stance that most urban men have taken – that they’re victims of militant feminism. Note my use of the word ‘urban’ – go to rural areas and you’ll know that ‘girl-power’ is as distant from reality as pigs with wings.

We can’t just let an issue die down simply because we had a woman as PM and because there are a handful of Indra Nooyis and Barkha Dutts. Your mother might be an emancipated, working woman who more than contributes her share of pennies to the household and your sister might be a smart-talking, legal eagle in the making. But spare a thought for the hundreds of girls on our streets, the ones with babies nearly half their size and with more on the way. They didn’t choose to live this way. They live this way because it’s the only way they can.

Of course, having a woman as Prez doesn’t really alleviate the matter. But that’s not what my post is about. In case you haven’t got it so far, this post is about how Indian men complain about being victimized by bra-burning feminists. It’s time to stop, guys…it’s not helping your cause.

I suppose what men can do is inform themselves about what life is like for the average Indian woman before opening their mouths so wide that they swallow not just their feet, but also a lot of their own credibility. After all, real men don’t whine, do they?


6 thoughts on “Real Men Don’t Whine or Why We Should Still Listen to Feminists

  1. I completely agree. Sad part is, most people including some of the so called feminists do not realise what feminism is. It is not anti-man or batle of sexes. It reinforces the coexistence or rather comlpementary existence of both the sexes.
    But then, when there is a real need of empowering the woman, most people definitely choose to ignore it anyway. So what gets undue attention is the so called dharnas and marches of the bra-burning feminists. Sure there could be other reasons for opposing patil’s candidature. But then one woman prez does not make a difference to the state of women in the country anyway.

  2. well written, in fact, very well written!!! And some of the points about poor rural women and their lack of choices were just great thinking!!!

    But just wondering… if men whine about feminists, then don’t the latter also do the same with “MCPs”???

    I have nothing against Patil becoming the first women president of India, but seriously, I thought India deserved a better women president!!! And I really doubt if the status of women in India’s going to change much just because a woman became a first citizen of the country!!! But I honestly (many adverbs here) would be very happy if Patil proves me wrong!!!

  3. “But spare a thought for the hundreds of girls on our streets, the ones with babies nearly half their size and with more on the way.”

    Wholesaler’s idea of thinking, that’s what is troubling us. One grain must be as good or bad as the whole sack. My mother’s a neo-woman, therefore, all women of the country must be. Therefore, I must think that no woman in my country faces problems that feminists speak about.

    If only we can get out of this mode of thinking, many a problem shall solve itself.

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