Philosophy for Pessimists

A song that always makes me think “that’s my life!” is Ironic by Alanis Morissette.

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It’s a black fly in your Chardonnay
It’s a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn’t it ironic… don’t you think?

It’s like rain on your wedding day
It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid
It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take
Who would’ve thought… it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
“Well isn’t this nice…”
And isn’t it ironic… don’t you think?

It’s like rain on your wedding day
It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid
It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take
Who would’ve thought… it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything’s okay and everything’s going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything’s gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you’re already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It’s meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn’t it ironic… don’t you think?
A little too ironic… and yeah I really do think…

It’s like rain on your wedding day
It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid
It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take
Who would’ve thought… it figures
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

A pessimistic song, really. But I’ve often felt that it describes Life perfectly. I mean, how many times has it happened that just as you reach the traffic signal, the colour changes to red? Half a second early, and you would’ve just made it.

It’s what’s know as Murphey’s Law, I think. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. The toast always falls on the buttered side, you always drop the crystal vase which your mom told you to handle with extreme care or she’ll skin you alive. That’s just Life I guess…making you dance to its little whims and fancies.

To defend myself against these whims of Fate, I’ve devised a strategy. I always imagine that the worst will happen and then Life does the exact opposite and the best thing imaginable happens. Of course, you can’t use this strategy consciously, as it were. The trick is to genuinely believe that something bad is going to happen. And to do this, you have to adopt a very negative view of Life. This way, expecting the worst becomes a way of life and then Life will keep handing you sweets instead of lemons.

Note: This method is not foolproof. And it takes years of practice before you become a true pessimist.

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8 thoughts on “Philosophy for Pessimists

  1. comin from a true pessimist, u can trust me, i loved the post and the phil, which is wat i follow as well, expect the worst, maybe ull get sumthin half as bad!
    good post, keep up!

  2. Interesting view-point there Pooja, although I dont agree with u completely… But I do believe one must always be prepared for a worst case scenario, which in a way is can be called pessimistic… I believe in ‘Light at the end of the tunnel and tunnel at the end of Light’ philosophy… I take life as what it offers me…

    Good post though!! Makes for interesting reading!!

  3. Well, there is no optimism without pessimism right.
    Its like sayin there is no light without the darkness, otherwise no-one would know what the darkness is?
    People who expect nothing – get everything from their lives, right.

  4. ThanQ, thanQ, thanQ to all who appreciated this post (which is exactly three people)

    @ Ajay
    You’re absolutely right, mate! And I’m glad that I’m one of those people who make optimism possible!

  5. Life’s like a box o’ chockletts, U never kno watchoo gonna geytt.
    -Forrest Gump

    Dark chocolate is bitter and many people dont like that stuff, but there are some who do; And they are the true connoisseurs of chocolate.

    There u go! Life’s just given u a sweet, I’ve commented! 😀

  6. Life might also hand you a sweet lemon!! who knows?? am thinking pessimistically here ;o))
    ur post made me think different!!!
    well, i agree to wht u say there..
    keep up the good work!! n keep blogging!

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