Kill that man! He’s a Reporter!

Have you noticed how often journalists are reviled and mocked? While discussing any major issue of the day, at least one person is sure to say in a sanctimonious tone, ‘These journalists! They always blow things out of proportion!’. I’ve heard journalists being described as ‘the most useless elements of society’ and ‘officious and intrusive’. Apparently, these people want journalists to write cozy little articles and maintain a low profile. A reporter who does investigative journalism becomes everyone’s favourite whipping boy and is referred to as ‘Paparazzi’.

‘Paparazzi’ is one of the most annoying catchwords of our times. Any journalist who pokes around a bit, is labeled that. If you’re one of those people who find journalists annoying and about as useful as a pain in the neck, tell me one thing – how do you think you’ll know anything about the world, without journalists doing all the dirty work for you? Quite often, journalists risk their lives to get a story to the public. Take the current crisis in Myanmar. Do you have any idea how many journalists are trying to cover the events from within that country and how many are doing so at serious risk to their lives? Most top Burmese journalists are languishing behind bars because they had the guts to raise questions and seek answers. Even now, some are broadcasting events as they happen in Myanmar. They do so knowing full well what they stand to lose if they’re discovered.

Journalism is not called ‘The Fourth Estate’ for nothing. It is one of the ‘Pillars of Democracy’ and it is what keeps you informed of what your government is doing with your money, or why a certain film actor got off with a light prison sentence or why one group of people is massacring another group. Don’t you want to know these things? Knowledge is power isn’t it? What makes you think you can get it, if you don’t have reporters?

I’m well aware that there are indeed journalists who play dirty. Every profession has its dark side, and journalism is no different. But for a hundred unethical reporters, there are at least a few who are decent and professional. It’s unfair to call them ‘the paparazzi’ for simply trying to do their jobs – which is to inform you about your world.

Note: I have nothing against ‘cozy little articles’ and the people who write them. I quite enjoy them, as a matter of fact. But this post is about why investigative journalism is important, so naturally I haven’t talked about why the other kinds of reports and articles are important too.

What’s in a name?

A Chinese couple wants to name their son @. No, this is not a typo. They actually do want to name their son that. The Chinese pronunciation of @ is ‘ai-ta’ and it means ‘love him’. Given the meaning, I suppose ‘ai-ta’ is a good enough name…but @?

Naming a child is like navigating a minefield. Hardly anyone is ever satisfied with his or her own name. It must be tough being expectant or new parents. Not only do you argue with each other and the rest of the family about what to name your child, you might also, sometime in the future, have to explain to said child why you gave him or her a name that in all probability causes embarrassment.

There are so many pitfalls you need to avoid while naming the child. One, do not be too pedestrian. That means that names like Rahul, Neha & Pooja go out the window. These names are bound to crop up all over the place. Every classroom, playground and office has at least one Rahul, Neha & Pooja.

Another thing to remember is that you can’t go all out traditional. If you name your son Maruti or Chiraunjilal, there’s no way he’s ever going to forgive you. Ditto for Thankam and Basanti. These names might have suited your grandparents or even your parents, but they will not suit your children. At least, that’s what your children will say when they disown you.

There’s some danger in naming your child after someone you admire. The celebrated, if fictitious, case of Gogol Ganguli comes to mind. Of course, you have a winner with a Sachin or a Sania, but try naming your child after Bhappi Lahiri or Vyajayanthimala and you will feel the consequences.

Try and avoid unisex names like Kiran & Manjeet. Also steer clear of exotic names like Utkalika and Mrignayni. And crazy spellings like Preity and Viveik.

In the end, it’s probably safer to just let your kids name themselves.

Note: This is all just fun. No offence is meant to anyone who’s named Pooja, Rahul, Maruti etc. Kindly excuse!

A Plea

To all those who write emails like the one below,

hi how’re u? m gud as usual. So nice 2 here frm u. i ws jst waiting 4 ur mail my exams start in jan so wish me luck!!!

I hate receiving mails like these. They’re so difficult to read! They may save the writer’s time, since they’re full of abbreviations, but they waste my time since I have to spend a lot of time just deciphering them. Does it really take so much time to type ‘you’ instead of ‘u’ and to insert a period in between sentences?

Ever read a book called ‘Eats, Shoots and Leaves’ by Lynn Truss? Truss claims that she’s a language Nazi. I wouldn’t go so far as to call myself that (though I’m sure some of my friends would!). My knowledge of English grammar and punctuation isn’t deep enough. But I do try! I always edit whatever I write. The editing may not be perfect but at least I make an effort!

I always think that a carefully written email shows that you care about what your readers experience while reading it. You may not use colons and semi-colons, but what about commas and periods? A paragraph break? Upper case? They’re not your enemies…they make your written work more coherent!

Abhi to Aish Karenge!

OK, OK…I admit it. I was very, very curious about the Abhi-Aish wedding. Gimme a break! I’m human. I wanted to know who’s on the guest list, and more importantly, who’s not. I wanted to know what the happy (presumably) pair wore and how the bidaai went. It’s fun to know such details. And while I agree that no aspect of the wedding is the stuff of breaking news, I don’t understand why so many people are being so uppity about the media covering the Desi Wedding of the Year.

Think about it…it’s the meeting of the Titans, a marriage of all that’s powerful and beautiful in apna Bollywood. The scion of Bollywood’s first family weds one of India’s most well-known faces. It’s fascinating!

But even more interesting is all the drama that surrounded the whole affair. A drunk starlet claims to be married to Abhishek and slits her wrist. Amar Singh spews venom against Mukesh Ambani (‘I hate him!’). The police lathi-charges crazed fans. I tell you…this is pure K-stuff!

Abhi-Aish sure have started their wedding on a high note! The rest of their married life will probably pale in comparison to the high-voltage drama of their wedding. I hope Viveik Oberoi does a Devdas…just to keep the excitement going.

P.S. Sorry about the gosh-awful title. But I had to, don’t you know?

Loving to Hate Aishwarya Rai

What is it about Aishwarya Rai that attracts so many brickbats? She’s incredibly beautiful, has got a great figure and can, when she puts in the effort, act well.

I’ve thought about this (yeah, yeah..I’m jobless!) and have reached the conclusion that it’s because she is the quintessential Ice Princess that she is so maligned and excoriated. I mean, come on….has anyone seen her lose control..ever? She’s always so poised and perfect…is there no way of getting under her skin? And with regard to her relationships…why doesn’t she ever publicly admit to them? That kind of an admission would humanize her to an extent by showing that she is quite capable of falling in love and giving in to other such ‘earthy’ emotions. It is her silence on the subject of her relationships that deprives her of any commiseration she might be entitled to when her relationships go bust. Vivek (or is it Viveik? Neva mind!) Oberoi might be a bit of an ass and Salman Khan may be a Brat-Prince, but lets face it…they were the ones who got away with all the public sympathy when their relationships with Ash went to ‘lie with the fishes’.

Of course, Ash’s love-life is her personal matter and one has to commend her for maintaining grace under fire. She has never publicly reacted to any statements made about her, negative or otherwise and this speaks volumes about her professionalism.

Sometimes I think Hating Aishwarya Rai is a fad, rather like wearing long, gypsy skirts or worshipping the i-pod. Its something that people just do…maybe to show that they prefer ‘women of substance’ like Sushmita Sen. Or as my mother says, some might just be jealous of how beautiful she is and because she, rather than more accomplished actors, is invited to sit on the Cannes jury or as a guest on Oprah Winfrey’s show.

However, the bright side is (for Ash) that she has just as many fans as she has critics. And as long as her PR machinery runs smoothly, she will stay in the news. Whether it is negative or positive news doesn’t matter…after all, any publicity is good publicity!